婚姻

结婚， 是几乎每个女性憧憬的人生阶段
电视剧里，面子书上都会出现每对情侣结婚时的画面,很幸福的画面...
而我从小也曾想过当新娘，想象自己结婚的画面...
穿着自己喜欢的婚纱，挽着自己的爱人的手，进行着自己喜欢的结婚仪式...
可那是小时候。。。

但我长大了，接触到爱情，才觉得自己并不怎么期待那所谓的婚姻

有人说，婚姻是爱情的坟墓，结婚后难免会失去自由。。。而女方必然也得照顾家庭孩子。。
有人说，婚姻是爱情的见证，证明那爱的价值。。
可对我来说，婚姻并不代表什么，而证书也只是一张证明我们关系的纸。。

有的婚姻，里面存在着一些利益关系；
有的婚姻，只为了报答对方的爱；
有的婚姻则是因为责任；
真正存在着爱情的婚姻又有多少个呢？

或许，或多或少我会羡慕别人结婚，
学姐的结婚照，朋友的红炸弹，网络上伴侣的求婚录影，都那么的羡煞旁人，
可当结婚的话题落在我身上时，抱歉，我无法接受。。。

我是个憧憬自由的人，我知道我不喜欢被绑着。。
我是个强势的人，我知道在我未拥有我想要的，稳定的事业前，结婚是免谈。。。

其实那都是其次，最重要的是，我不想要一个没有爱情的婚姻和存在着猜疑的婚姻。。
我不想要结婚后，因猜疑而离婚。。我不想要那烦人的程序。。
当一段感情从欺骗和隐瞒开始，就注定了那段感情永远存在着猜疑，
而最后的两个结局都会有着欺骗， 因猜疑而分手，或婚姻里有着猜疑。。
到最后免不了离婚。。
两个结局到最后都会是各走各，只不过第二个选择把结局推迟了。。。
我要的你永远给不了我，我说过的。。。
我们都在互相猜疑对方的生活。。。
不信任的感情，到最后又怎么会有结果。。。

a present

today i was asked by my junior to have lunch together, and i went
however, the moment was so awkward as we didnt really find a topic to talk
while we walk back to hostel, she gave me a present..a Christmas present she said..
but...i know the reason of this Christmas present..thx anyway..

Actually this few day i quarrel with this junior and is due to her unreasonably ...
she was seek for my advice but she cant accept my advice...
the things that i cannot acccept the most was she always contradict with my words but the after that she will sent an apologize message ..i was like.....u ok?? or u are meant to be like that ??

but the biggest question mark was, y me??  y i m the only 1 u will treat me like this, m i too kind to every1?? eventhough, u shud know the word respect rite?

she actually a negative minded person and no matter how i said, she cant accept..

Maybe the present is for me to stop my anger. but if she really thought so and i just want to say not everything can be solve with present or money..perhaps she not yet learn about that, if she think a friendship can be build with material she never get a true friendship

If she read this, for sure she will say not good to said like that, u should learn appreciate..
to be frank, i appreciate the intention of giving me present but not appreciate u trying to build a friendship this way if u really do think like this... y u choose to give a Christmas present so suddenly and in this timing after we quarrel..haha

u will say i sensitive, but is not wrong to be sensitive bcoz i will be more alert ...
piece of advice , nvr try to start o mention any topic if u jus intend to tell me half of it , coz i will nvr go ask unless u tell me coz i assume it is not related with me n not important , so dun ever expected i will keep on ask u until u tell..i m not the same with others...

放手

不是每段爱情都该拥有，爱情最好的结果或许是放手。
不是每个放手都是因为不爱，而是因为爱，所以不愿牵绊。。

选择了放手，
因为你清楚的知道，你们那不可能的未来，
因为你明白，那个她和你的未来会比现在更幸福。

选择了放手，
因为你们出现了隐瞒和欺骗，
或许因为爱而欺骗，或许因为不爱而欺骗。


爱情最悲哀的不过是你走进了他的心里却发现里头没有属于你的痕迹，
你在他心里算不上是什么，
你伤心，
因此你选择了放手。

其实你很清楚的知道，
他从没在乎过你。

Welcome Back

The last post was at 2011..N years ago
Now i m here again
I have come back
with a newly me (i bet i still the same, physically)..lol...

After a long time..what makes me reopen my blog n start blogging again
i bet my friends will be wondering the same questions..

Things happened..wIthin this two years..alot of things happened on me, a lot of changes, to my family..to my surrouding
but here's the only place i can express my feeling freely i guess.

Time Flies, now i m third year student, counting the days i leave the my Uni , m i suppose to be happy ? coz meantime..i have to leave my frens..those who i close with..those who i pillow talk with,,those who help me alot when i was in trouble..
Will we continue contact each other after that?? will i stil remember u guys after that...lol..u guys will be vry sad with my answer...i trying to remember each of u ..but sorry, my memory getting weak..i cant remember names after a long time....U, U ,U , U and U ,and U, and U ,  U also...hope i still can remember ur name when we meet ^.^